


Goner

by soft_psycho



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Tyler Joseph, Teenage Josh Dun, Teenage Tyler Joseph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_psycho/pseuds/soft_psycho
Summary: It's bad again. Tyler's demons are back and they're worse. It's been bad before but not like this. Tyler has begun to believe the things they're saying. He can't take it anymore. He decides to end it. Tyler leaves without so much as a goodbye.Josh is determined to save his friend. Tyler had been acting off for weeks and when he runs out of the hotel they had been staying at looking like he was going to cry josh can only pray that when he finds him he isn't too late.





	Goner

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning!!! This story deals with suicidal thoughts/ attempt. If this bothers/triggers you please do not read!!!

Tyler ran out of the hotel. _He had to get away. Had to escape._ Josh yelled something after him but Tyler ignored him. _Have to get away. Have to be alone. End it._ Tyler ran down the street making a left as he reached the end. _End it. Worthless. No one would miss you._ Tyler blinked back tears. He couldn't let Josh see him like this. He couldn’t break in front of his best friend. _Stupid. Not good enough. Fucking worthless._ Tyler shook his head and kept running, this time making a right at the end of the street. Tyler slowed down as he reached the edge of the woods. He took a deep breath and entered them, entered the place he so often visited as a teenager. The place he had often come to be alone when it got bad. _No one loves you. They don’t really like you._ Tyler started running again despite every muscle in his body screaming at him to stop. Tyler ran until he reached a small clearing. On the other side ran a river. A small wooden bridge crossed it. Tyler walked over to it. _End it._ He paced up and down the bridge a few times. He tugged the strings on his sweatshirt tighter. Tyler walked to the edge and leaned on the railing, staring down at the rushing water below him. Several large rocks jutted out of the water. Tyler took a deep breath and put one foot up on the bar. He pushed himself higher with his hands and put his other foot up. Tyler gripped the railing tightly and closed his eyes. A sudden gust of wind blew past causing Tyler to almost lose his grip. Not that he cared. Tyler opened his eyes and looked down at the water. He took a deep breath and-

“Tyler!” Tyler ignored the voice. Footsteps could be heard thudding dully against the dirt. 

“Tyler please!” Josh screamed.

“Leave me alone,” Tyler said softly, unsure if Josh could even hear him.

“Don’t do this, Tyler,” Josh said walking up to him. 

“Please just leave me alone,” Tyler whispered.

Josh stepped up next to him. “I’m not getting down until you do,” He promised.

Tyler shook his head tears pricking at the back of his eyes. “Please…” He whimpered.

Josh sighed and stepped down. Tyler felt a few tears slip down his face. Was his only friend going to actually leave him when he needed him most? 

“Please don’t go,” Tyler whispered barely loud enough to be heard over the rushing water. Tyler let his head droop when he didn’t get a response. 

“Get down, Tyler,” Josh said after a minute. He had, in fact, heard Tyler’s plea for him to stay.

Tyler stepped off the railing and turned to face Josh. His knees wobbled but before he could hit the ground Josh was there, his hands firmly gripping underneath Tyler’s arms. Josh lowered him to the ground before joining him. Tyler leaned back against the railing and attempted to steady his breathing. 

“Josh…”

“Tyler why didn’t you tell me it was getting bad again?” Josh asked softly.

“I was...scared I guess,” Tyler replied.

“What were you scared of?” Josh asked.

“I..I’m not sure…” Tyler said.

“Tyler, please. I’ll listen to you all night long if you want but you need to tell me what’s going on,” Josh pleaded.

Tyler nodded. “I don’t know what happened, Josh. I was doing fine and then...I wasn’t. I feel so lost and scared all the time and I couldn’t get that feeling to go away. I didn’t know who I was anymore. The...the voices came back, Josh. They told me...things.” Tyler took a deep breath. “I had to end it. I wanted them to stop. You don’t know how bad. I’m s...sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for not telling you or….or anyone...I couldn’t take it. I thought I was going insane. I fucked up and I’m sorry, Josh.” Tyler looked down at his hands desperately trying not to cry.

Josh reached over and brushed the hair out of Tyler’s eyes. 

Tyler looked up at him his lower lip trembling slightly. “I…I’m so..s..sorry, Josh I should’ve..should’ve told..y...you or someone an...and..” Tyler sobbed.

Josh opened his arms wide and Tyler crawled into his lap and buried his face in Josh’s shirt. “I..I’m so sorry,” He whimpered.

Josh hugged him to his chest. “It’s alright, Tyler. I’ve got you,” Josh whispered.

Tyler made a small noise of agreement. “I should’ve...told someone that...that it was getting bad again…” Tyler said softly.

Josh rubbed Tyler’s back gently. “It’s gonna be alright,” Josh said.

Tyler looked up at him. His eyes still watered slightly and his face was red from crying.

“I’m scared, Josh. What if it gets worse and...and I do something bad. What if you leave me? Don’t leave me alone. I can’t do this myself…” Tyler whispered.

Josh kissed Tyler’s forehead gently. “I’m never going to leave you alone, Tyler. You aren’t alone,” he replied reassuringly.

Tyler nodded and wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry, Josh,” He said softly.

“It’s okay. Shhhh. It’s okay,” Josh said softly.

After a minute Josh began humming something softly, the sound carried away by the breeze. Tyler closed his eyes and just listened to the sound, letting it anchor him to the earth. Josh rocked them back and forth gently, one hand resting in Tyler’s hair, the other holding one of Tyler’s hands tightly as if he were a balloon that would fly away if he let go.

They stayed like that until the sun dipped below the sky and the stars began to shine; Tyler laying against Josh, his chest rising and falling gently while Josh hummed softly.

 

Stay alive |-/


End file.
